Introduction

Ah, the old blog. An interesting byproduct of the information age; we've got the entire world and all of its collective knowledge at our fingertips, limitless entertainment and media of all forms, and yet most of us still want to take pictures of ourselves at flattering angles and write about what a dick the homeroom teacher is. Everyone's computer suddenly becomes a grand theater in which we are the cast, crew, and producer...yet our only audience seems to be people we already know to and Internet pedophiles. The blogging age is one of trends and deceptions: Livejournal was the end-all be-all, now no one would be caught dead there. Xanga had a run, then was shoved aside by the blogging giant MySpace, which subsequently succumbed to the world's biggest collage of frat boys in pre-frayed baseballs caps wielding beer bongs: Facebook. That seems to be where we sit in recent times, and I'm almost interested to see if we've finally settled on a permanent alpha-blog, or if something previously unnoticed will scramble to the top of the steaming pile of Internet jargon and text smileys we call the blogosphere.

You're probably wondering why, if I have so much criticism for blogs in general, am I starting one? Well, fine, you're probably not wondering that, but it would be really convenient for me in writing this exposition if you were wondering it, so if you could do me a favor and start wondering, I'd really appreciate it.

Wondering yet?
Good.

So, back to the question at hand. Why am I creating a blog? Well, I'm glad I asked. I've always had a penchant for writing, as cruel a mistress as she may be. Writing is a hobby I want back in my life, no matter how many times she's left me cold and alone in bed while she was out "just having a good time with my girlfriends," but I know she's probably just fucking Painting while Pottery films it. I've spent enough time in the fields of dicking around, working retail, and World of Warcraft, and now I think that I should go back to that which I consider the most productive.

Unfortunately, I've never been out of writing so long, and I'm yet not quite sure if it's like riding a bicycle, or if it's like riding a bicycle. Allow me to elaborate.

The common phrase "like riding a bike" refers to a skill that cannot be forgotten once learned; it becomes second instinct to the practitioner. I hope this is the case. On the other hand, there are professional bikers. People who outrace cheetahs on a Huffy, with or without several diagnoses of cancer. These people, people in peak physical condition...if they were to suddenly quit biking, exorcising, and eating healthy, and spent 14 hours a day sleeping and the remaining 10 shoveling processed fat and corn oil in the form of snack chips in between rounds of furious masturbation...I get the feeling that they won't be taking part in the next Tour de France (I swear this run-on sentence isn't biographical). Likely, that same biker will barely be able to heft their massive frame onto their bike, let alone do any kind of traveling on it.

So which am I...the young adult that blows the dust off of the seat of their old two-wheeled childhood companion and finds the experience all the same? Or am I the former racing champ who can barely lift himself out of his recliner? Am I the mental portion of riding a bike, or am I the physical? Do I have it, or is it gone? Simply put, the purpose of this blog is to find out.



I suppose the introductory post is as good a post as any to get some exposition out of the way. My name's Nick, I'm an early-20's deadbeat with no real passion in life and a mean game of Super Smash Brothers Melee. If you plan on reading this blog, you should mostly be expecting video game and movie reviews (mostly in retrospect), rantings on current events or trends, and mentionings and commentary on the goings-on of the Internet. I should also mention that I have a certain fascination with zombies.


Now, I wouldn't call myself a zombie expert. In all honesty, I don't think anyone could be an expert on zombies. They're a too fluid and ever-changing subject. You can define them any number of ways; Romero's original Dead trilogy consisted strictly of slow-moving, moaning zombies that overwhelmed their victims with sheer numbers. Cut to the 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead, and suddenly the zombies are fast-moving shriekers that can easily outrun a human target. Zombie purists believe that these aren't true zombies; zombies can't be fast. However, I found it a very necessary, not to mention compelling, change. Things that were scary in the 70's would barely phase a toddler of this day and age. Fast-moving zombies are a much bigger, much more convincing threat than a pile of shambling corpses that you can only escape with the speed of a brisk power walk. Take the zombies in 28 Days/Weeks Later. They're technically not undead, carriers of the disease haven't died. Does that technically exclude them from the title of Zombie? The movies follow all other requirements and guidelines of a zombie movie, only the anatomy of the threat has been changed. In some entries, zombies undergo mutations and behavior adaptations to provide more variety for the audience. And where do zombies come from? Is it a virus that was developed in a lab and accidentally set loose on the unsuspecting population? Has an ancient evil awoken? Is there no more room in hell? Was it aliens?

There's too much gray area and too much room for debate with no clear correct answer in order for anyone to dub anyone else an expert on zombies. As soon as zombies invade our real world, then we can name some experts. For now though, we have only people well-versed in a topic that has no clear definition. I'm sure there are experts in other such fields, but I still maintain that if somebody knows everything there is to know about every iteration of zombie culture and media, then they're still not an expert on zombies. They're an expert on the ambiguity of zombies.



I've probably already given a long enough diatribe to describe more than I originally wanted to in my first post. So I guess I'll end it here. I've got a few things in mind that I'd like to review, so stay tuned. I aim to inform and entertain. It's infotainment, you ignorant bitch.

.Nick out.